Turkey Baster and bottle of wine… well not exactly. This blog was developed to create a space where the voices of queer, non-gestational (often non-biological) parents can be heard.  A space to share our side of the story:  the good, the bad and the utterly confusing.  Whether you found yourself in this position via a turkey baster (that’s a good one) or with a little help from the medical establishment or you partnered with someone who had kiddos in tow… you are welcome here and we hope you get something out of this blog.  In addition to the stories we share, we want to hear from you: what has your experience been as a non-gestational parent in your own little universe of queer family-hood?  We’d love to hear your feedback and experiences in the “comments” section and periodically we will put a call for submissions out on various topics around queer, non-gestational parenthood.  Let us know what you think. Enjoy.

This blog was created by and is moderated by:

Betsy Fife Archer is a queer, non-bio mama living in Asheville, NC where she is often told how much her toddler son looks like her.  She has been with her love for 17 years, which feels like a lifetime and a minute ago.  Betsy holds a Master of Social of Work degree and, after practicing for seven years, is really excited to take a break from being a therapist. She loves to play in the dirt with her kid (who is growing up too fast), make things, and pump some iron, all while baking delicious muffins or whipping up a quiche.


Charlotte Capogna-Amias (monthly contributing blogger) got her start with writing in high school producing two DIY zines in which she had a fan base of fellow punks around the country who were also trying to make meaning of their lives and experiences through stories, rants and art.  These days Charlotte studies in the Amherst Writers & Artists method and her writing on parenthood has appeared in Hip Mama magazine and the forthcoming web publication of This Bridge Called My Baby.  Charlotte is the co-founder of the Queer Non-Gestational Parents Group- a support and dialogue group based in western Massachusetts.  Charlotte has a Masters in Social Justice Education and is currently a counselor and administrator at a university support program for students who are low-income, are first generation college students or have a disability. Charlotte is also a lead LGBTQ Safe Zone trainer at the university.  Charlotte lives in Northampton, Massachusetts with her spouse, self potty-trained feline (no joke), and energetic three year old daughter.

In their spare time, Charlotte and Betsy are working on a guidebook/memior about becoming a queer, non-gestational parent.  If you have any tips on getting published, we unabashedly welcome your suggestions.  We can be contacted at turkeybasterandwine@gmail.com


8 responses to “About

  1. thank you!

  2. Thank you for this blog! What a treasure to find this as I just became a non-gestational mama a couple weeks ago when my partner gave birth to our beautiful son. I look forward to following your blog!

  3. Thank you for this! As the gestational mama in our family, at least this time around, this is so helpful for those moments when my wife says “you just don’t understand.” I think our families are unique in so many ways that sometimes go un-discussed. Good luck to you and yours.

    • Thanks so much for reading, Sarah! Glad you found us. Check back often and keep commenting!

    • So glad you found us! Keep coming back and commenting. Feel free to us this blog as a place to have your voice heard, too! Thanks so much!

  4. How’s the book coming along?

    • chickandlittle

      We are in a holding pattern right now as we evaluate the best avenue for getting our book out there. Any ideas or publishing connections welcome!

  5. As a new parent (new-ish), I came across your blog.I like what you guys have to say, deliberate and thoughtful parenting. Hope the book gets off the ground.

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