M. and I took an excursion this afternoon in search of plants for around our house. We spent a couple hours perusing the many vendors, petting baby goats and having some nice quality time away from the house. In the midst of all of these luscious plants was a food stand. M. wanted a snack so we ordered and hung around for a little while. The people who ran the stand were quite friendly and, since it wasn’t crowded today, they kind of sat around and chatted with us while M ate. I noticed they had accents from somewhere up north and they informed me they are from Philly. Internally, I breathed a sign of relief hoping this meant they would be more accepting than the stereotype of someone from rural North Carolina. Up until then, there was a little voice in the back of my head hoping they didn’t ask about M’s father and set us all up for an awkward conversation. I HATE that I still have this internal dialogue. But it is my reality. I expect people to be mean and judgmental as a self-protective measure. Most of the time, people aren’t like that (as least outwardly) so I end up being surprised, which is a lot better than being unprepared. There were no awkward moments with these kind people. They didn’t ask any personal questions. M ate and we were on our way. Maybe one day that internal dialogue will be gone. Today, it is still there. Not as loud as it once was, but whispering just loud enough to be heard.