I always find this question disconcerting. I internally stumble a little while I grasp for the words to define me: artist, writer, therapist, mama, jill-of-more-than-one-trade. I was at a gathering for queer parents the other day and this question came up. When I ask about a person, I try to choose my words carefully: “How do you spend your days?” The usual answer is about what they do for a living and not who they are or what feeds their soul.
I am still trying to tease this all out and to not lose some of my self-worth to my lack of a paycheck. I love what I do. I am raising a stellar human being who will go on to raise other stellar humans who will continue our legacy. Even still, I cringe a little when I tell people I am a stay-at-home mom. I even fumble over the words, “Oh, I …stay home with him.” What I should be saying is, “I am so lucky to get to spend my time with this amazing person just being his mom.” And I do feel lucky. I do. Sometimes, though, the old baggage gets flung open and I feel like I should be doing more.
I have heard a million people talk about “having it all” in life. Meaning, career and family. For me, I think having it all means the family part. One day maybe I will publish a NY Times bestseller. Or maybe not. Either way, my life will still be full today and tomorrow. Now if only my baggage can get the memo…