Last time I posted it was to share about how our donor’s parents were coming to visit and meet our now three year old daughter for the first time. That visit came and went and I am happy to report that all went well. They were kind and respectful and it honestly just felt like having our good friend’s parents be over to visit, period. The only exception to that was when our donor’s father asked for a photo of our daughter before he left, because he likes to keep pictures of family members tucked deep within his wallet. Somehow even that didn’t bother me and I found myself scurrying into a closet and sifting through stacks of photos to find one of our adorable, little girl. They were all from two years ago. Crap. I guess we need to print some from the recent computer archives. Oh well. I selected two and brought them out to him: one where she was sitting in a bike trailer with a toddler friend who also, strangely, is distantly related to our donor and therefore our donor’s father and another of us with her on the day of her Toljabee event (a Korean ceremony for children’s first birthday). Those two would have to do. He looked at them, didn’t say much, and then sorted them among his other photos in his wallet. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but also appreciated his continued “neutral” affect about the whole affair. And then they were off- two hours of nice conversation and then our day continued. Something I had gone back and forth about for the past two plus years was over, and it had been fine.
As I suspected, we don’t fully know what this will mean for our relationship with them going forward… we’re taking it step-by-step. We’re thinking we’ll plan to see them again in early summer when the yard is gorgeous with wild life and we can sit outside and let our daughter roam. There’s no going back now- they know– but I feel ok about this particular leap of faith.