Untitled on Purpose

I have been thinking a lot about this blog and the direction I see it going.  As you can tell, most often these days we just write about being mothers.  While I carry my queer identity with me everywhere I go, so much of my thought-space is filled with general parenting dilemmas, challenges and successes, not with the fact that my son came out of my love’s vagina.  From time to time, issues around being a non-gestational parent arise and I will write about them.  Especially in the beginning, while trying to conceive, throughout pregnancy and when was son was really small, I desperately needed a resource like this.  I needed someone else’s experience to help me understand my own. My hope is that you get something from this blog, whether or not you identify as a queer parent or a non-gestational parent or a parent at all.

By sharing with each other, listening and learning from each other’s struggles and successes, we become better parents, better partners, better people.  In that light, we want to hear from you.  You have been a mostly silent crowd up until now.  Why are you reading this blog?  What are you getting out of it?  What are your successes as a parent you think someone else might learn from?  Talk to us people.



10 responses to “Untitled on Purpose

  1. I started following your blog for three reasons. 1) I have two wonderful teenage kids and have loved every single minute of motherhood (well, nearly every minute…). 2) I have gay relatives, friends, coworkers, loved ones — and I want them to have the freedom to marry and have children. I’m interested in the challenges they face and want to find ways to support them. And 3) I love your writing style. It’s honest and direct and funny, just like my favorite people. : )

  2. I started reading, cause I like keeping in touch with old friends and it’s always interesting to see that while each family has it’s ups and downs, many of the things we run into are the same regardless of family make-up.
    My parenting advice… or whatever… is don’t be afraid to fail. And further, don’t linger on the failure. Learn from it and move on. Admit mistakes to yourself and your children and move on. Learn, fail, admit, succeed. Play, love, learn, get dirty. Sing at the top of your lungs and dance like no one is looking. Read lots of books and don’t worry if your kid can read by the time he is 18 months. Follow imaginations. Encourage independent play. Have tea parties. Let them choose their clothes and be proud of the mismatch. Run and be the loud parent at the park. Cry in front of them, with them, for them. Laugh often. Be okay with being a parent first and a friend second. Take time for yourself. Be kind always.

  3. I like blogs, and it doesn’t hurt when they are smart and well written like this one. I like queer parent blogs because I can relate, but I feel like one of the joys of blog reading and writing is that you don’t have to be limited to a narrow topic. So I would say, write whatever you want and I will read it. Parenting advice, I’ve got nothing.

  4. I started reading your blog because it’s a blog I can relate to. A couple of gay parents raising a kid. Your writing is pretty darn awesome as well, I love reading other people’s blogs because it gives me a sense of community and it makes me know I am not alone in this crazy journey.

  5. I read it because I like you and I am interested in your experiences and perspectives.

  6. Thanks so much everyone! It’s wonderful to hear your thoughts! Thank you for your support and encouragement!
    – Charlotte

  7. Hi, just getting back to blog reading after a break. I read because I read a lot of queer parenting blogs and most of them are written by GPs, so it’s nice to see things from the NGP perspective. Also, I like reading parenting blogs in general, and queer ones in particular, and funny ones in particular-particular, so here I am. 🙂

  8. Hey Betsy –
    So stoked to have found a place to read about the non-bio dilemma in a smart, funny way and feel like I’m not alone. We have just started IUI and so much has been stirred! Baby batter not from me?? A child that I have all this responsibility for, but no genetic link to? And I thought I was the cool, totally hip dyke with impenetrable armor. Ha!

  9. I read this blog because my partner and I are going to be trying on that parenthood hat soon and we have NO QUEER FRIENDS. That’s not true. WE HAVE SO FEW QUEER FRIENDS. and no queer friends with kids. and sometimes, I need to read a good momblog that doesn’t continually alienate me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s