Sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom is really hard. It is not the taking care of my son part that is hard (though sometimes it is), but it is the taking care of me part that is really hard. I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to stay home with my boy and I am really grateful for the opportunity. Also, some days I feel lost.
Last night, I was reading an article written about the mother of one of M’s friends. She is an all around bad-ass homesteader, blogger and author of several books. So, I was reading this great article about her and all I could do was feel totally inadequate. I have spent years working on my many hobbies and trying to make money doing them: rug hooking, embroidery, photography, writing. Now, it seems that most days are so full of dishes and laundry and entertaining an energetic two-year old. And some days, I just feel like not enough. Some days, I feel like I should be able to do it all. I should be able to keep my house spotless, make art every day, write every day for this blog and on my book project, make great food for my family, exercise daily, blah, blah, blah.
And then I write a blog post like this and I re-read my expectations for myself. I realize that I just can’t. I can’t be all things at all times to all people, including to myself. I just can’t. And that is ok. I am ok. I am still an artist even if I don’t have time to make my own art everyday, I am still a good mother if I go to sleep with dishes in the sink and clothes on the bathroom floor. I am still a writer if I skip blog posts for two days. I am all of these things everyday even if all I do is hold a sick boy and wipe his nose.