On Being Adequate

Sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom is really hard.  It is not the taking care of my son part that is hard (though sometimes it is), but it is the taking care of me part that is really hard.  I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to stay home with my boy and I am really grateful for the opportunity.  Also, some days I feel lost.

Last night, I was reading an article written about the mother of one of M’s friends.  She is an all around bad-ass homesteader, blogger and author of several books.  So, I was reading this great article about her and all I could do was feel totally inadequate.  I have spent years working on my many hobbies and trying to make money doing them: rug hooking, embroidery, photography, writing.  Now, it seems that most days are so full of dishes and laundry and entertaining an energetic two-year old.  And some days, I just feel like not enough.  Some days, I feel like I should be able to do it all.  I should be able to keep my house spotless, make art every day, write every day for this blog and on my book project, make great food for my family, exercise daily, blah, blah, blah.

And then I write a blog post like this and I re-read my expectations for myself.  I realize that I just can’t.  I can’t be all things at all times to all people, including to myself.  I just can’t.  And that is ok.  I am ok.  I am still an artist even if I don’t have time to make my own art everyday,  I am still a good mother if I go to sleep with dishes in the sink and clothes on the bathroom floor.  I am still a writer if I skip blog posts for two days.  I am all of these things everyday even if all I do is hold a sick boy and wipe his nose.



2 responses to “On Being Adequate

  1. B, please do not ever underestimate the awesome that is you; you are a devoted, connected, loving spouse and mother, you understand the value of family, of creating and maintaining real, honest, loving connections with those whose hearts you hold dear. That is HUGE. Creating, maintaining those connections, that’s why we’re here. You will have/accomplish all that you seek, and when you have/accomplish it, your family will be right there by your side, loving you, appreciating you, applauding you, not just for what you’ve achieved professionally, but what you’ve achieved as a human being. You’re awesome. Much love to you, S and sweet, wondrous M. ~ Cindy

  2. omg yes! all of this! The first entire month we had our foster baby I had difficulty even remembering to FEED myself.

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