And…she’s home! And…I have been exiled from my boy’s room as he prepares for sleep. I have mixed emotions about S coming home. While I am SO glad to see her and to have help, I am sad to fall back into the patterns that relegate me to second fiddle when S is home. It feels like a loss in some ways. M and I have had such an amazing time (minus the sleep trouble) that the reintroduction of another person is sure to cause some upset. I know I am writing like she has been deployed overseas for months and not an eight-hour drive away for five days. Somehow, the length of time she was gone seems multiplied. It must be the sleep deprivation that makes it feel like three weeks.
I feel a little like I am hovering since she has been home (all 3 hours): Oh, this is how we read books at night now; I rock him much longer than that now; He doesn’t like that anymore. I guess I feel a little territorial and that I did not expect. It was an adjustment to have her gone and I guess will be an adjustment to have her back.
Right now, M is singing Brother John (“Are you sweeping? Bruver Chong?”) and I know S is patting his back. Part of me hopes he calls out for me to be the one who can soother him to sleep. But the other part of me thinks I might use this as an opportunity to catch up with my trashy magazines or the Bachelor. Maybe both. At the same time. Ah yes, now I am sure it is good to have her home.
Thanks for hanging in there with me.