And…he’s asleep. Day Two down. As we were leaving gymnastics this morning, one of M’s friend’s mothers shouted, “Good luck!” And then it hit me: flying solo works GREAT for my control issues. I don’t have to share any of the decision making! I had my kid in bed by 7:20, asleep by 7:45. Teeth flossed (yes) and brushed. Books read. My boy is faring pretty well. He has had a couple episodes of being upset she isn’t here: Up at 4:47 a.m., a little flailing, some tears. But I get it. The three of us are home, wherever we are. One piece missing is disequilibrium. I must confess: S and I just celebrated 16 years together. We have been a couple since I was 19. Before M, we traveled often apart. Home to see our families or overseas on solo adventures, we have both always been ok with being apart. Since M was born, it feels different. Like the physical distance between us takes on a life of its own. I haven’t quite figured out what that is about. Is it being the sole caregiver without breaks? Is it missing the companionship? Is it the quiet? Still teasing it out.
Right now, my house is full of our night-time sounds: white-noise machine, dryer, dog licking his balls, cat purring almost louder than everything. Incredibly loud, incredibly quite. Hoping for a good night’s sleep.