Flying Solo: Day One

I feel a bit ridiculous even writing about my brush with single parenthood.  I have a close friend who really is in it on her own.  She just moved across the country to the town I live in with her superb five year old daughter.  I am constantly amazed at her ability to navigate all that comes with being a parent without another person to rely on for those much needed breaks.  I think I would melt or have a breakdown if I didn’t have someone else to help me with the constant negotiation that is toddlerhood.

But here I am, for four days.  This morning (at the ass-crack of dawn) as S was preparing to depart, I was a mess.  Practically sobbing as I fixed her coffee in the travel mug that is supposed to be mine, I chalked it up to the constant sleep deprivation.  I was just talking with a friend and decided that, really, I am co-dependent.  Not like I can’t live without S.  I could.  Life would be boring, but I could.  More like she is my favorite person to be around besides my boy.  So, here I am tears streaming down my face and M is happily eating his toast.

We have talked about this trip.  He knows that Ima will be gone for a few days and he is getting some special Mama time.  Now, when he wakes in the morning and wants to nurse, will I be enough?  Will this be the end of nursing all together?  Will we make it unscathed?

My prediction: Days One and Two will be great.  No problems.  Then come Day Three, he might start to realize that it has been a couple days since he saw S.  Days Four and Five, not quite as smooth.

Thanks for reading and being there.  Strange that this cyber community offers me some comfort.



2 responses to “Flying Solo: Day One

  1. Good luck! I was trying to remember if I had ever been left alone with my kids. The answer is definitely YES, but the funny thing is that I barely remember it. About this time last year, I was left with Josie for 3 nights/4 days while Ashley took Tad skiing in Colorado. I’m sure I was nervous about it and felt the way you feel. But, what I think is the most significant now is that I barely even remember it. Surely I was exhausted out of my mind, without having any family around to help. But I have no significant memory of it being brutal or different than any other day. So, even if the next few days are harder than expected, just know that one day you will barely even remember being left alone with him. It will be a distant memory.

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